Age ain't nothin but a number


To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me…oh, shit…I’ll see you on the bus.












I went to the doctor with hearing problems…

He said “can you describe the symptoms?”

I said “Yeah, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair!”






Dat is hysterical


This is also hysterical.





It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys.

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty.


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,

“How old was your husband?”

“98,” she replied: “Two years older than me”

“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.

She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”


The 3rd strain of the Nile virus is coming.

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.

It appears to target those who were born prior to 1958.

Virus Symptoms

  1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. (Done that)

  2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. (That too)

  3. Causes you to send an e-mail to the wrong person. (Yup)

  4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. (Ah-ha)

  5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. (Done that)

  6. Causes you to hit SEND before you’ve finished. (Oh no, not again)

  7. Causes you to hit DELETE instead of SEND. (Hate that)

  8. Causes you to hit SEND when you should DELETE. (Heck, now what?)

It’s called the C-Nile virus!




The OP was set to an image that changes every day… here is the one for the day that I posted it, which should have been stuck there…