CONTENTS: One (1) Generic Sex Humor Thread


I hope that thing turns into a cyst and you have all your bits cut out so you can’t ever breed.

Filthy mutt.






(Dad joke, as it were)



So unfair, sad!




Images won’t host or be downloaded. But this is funny and worth the click.


Interviewer: Give me an example of when you’ve been a team player?

Me: once my friend wanted to sleep with this girl but she was married.

Interviewer: and you?

Me: I distracted her husband with an interview


Why was the Amish girl shunned?

Too Mennonite.


What do you call a pool stick in the gay ocean community’s British Telecom break room?

Algae BT cue.





Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago, her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world.

Finally, Anna said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, “Mum I have someone for you to meet.”
Well, it was an immediate hit.
They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Paris. Their first night there, she undressed as he did.
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties – he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, “Why the black panties?”
She replied: “My upper half you can see, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning.”
He knew he was not getting lucky that night.
The following night was the same – she stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit, but now he was wearing a black condom.
She looked at him and asked: “What’s with the black condom?”
He replied, “I want to offer my deepest condolences.”


My ex girlfriend used to have sex with fruit whenever she got stressed

When we broke up she went fucking bananas.

A woman said to her husband “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating?”

So he took her to dinner and a movie, and dropped her off at her parent’s house.


My girlfriend once gave up sex for lent

I learned the true meaning of Palm Sunday


She: Undress me with your words.

He: There’s a spider in your bra.


I need to tell my girlfriend she’s using way too much teeth when she goes down on me, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

How do I soften the blow?


That joke really…well, you know.