Donât mess with karma, sheâs a bitch.
Iâd like to say Iâm sorry for the fool, but he got what he asked for. I hope not too many of his flock pay for his folly as well.
âTempt not the Lordâ: youâd think a Christian pastor would know that.
Hint please
pr0n hub
lol, sike!
Take the money and run.
Some reruns probably, fuck yuo!
â
I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearingâŚ
2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
The world has turned upside down . Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
You think itâs bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home-schooled by day-drinkersâŚ
This virus has done what no woman had been able to do âŚcancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!
Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!
Since we canât eat out, nowâs the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. Weâre quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants â I say we use them!
Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, âSee? This is why I chew the furniture!â
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
I never thought the comment âI wouldnât touch him/her with a 6 foot poleâ would become a national policy, but here we are!
Me: Alexawhatâs the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesnât matter â youâre not going anywhere.
Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids canât follow directions.
I swear my fridge just said âwhat the hell do you want now?â
When this is over âŚwhat meeting do I attend firstâŚWeight Watchers or AA?
Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told ânoâ if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
NOWâŚgo wash your hands!
A repost, but now with 25% more cackle!
