Cue the Laugh Track


The White House, Washington

Dear Midget:
Thank you for taking the time to express your views regarding our national parks and monuments.
These magnificent spaces are home to natural and historic sites that inspire our love of country and serve as a source of patriotism and pride. Visitors from around the world travel to our Nation to experience our lofty mountains, majestic waterfalls, breathtaking canyons, and peaceful forests.
My Administration will protect these lands, and ensure all Americans have access to our national parks, as well as to other National Park Service sites, throughout the next century. For this reason, I chose to donate the first portion of my salary as President to the American Battlefield Protection Program, which the National Park Service uses to preserve significant American battlefields. It is my desire to pass down these natural and historic sites for many future generations to discover and enjoy.
Our parks and monuments enhance the beauty of our States and territories and bring joy to millions. We must cherish our outdoor spaces and strive to preserve them. This is why I am working to bring leaders throughout the country together, especially through public-private partnerships, to improve the management of our vitally important public lands to help clear the backlog of maintenance requirements that has built up over time. In addition, my Administration will explore ways to increase the utilization of these spaces, while maintaining their integrity and public respect for these revered landmarks.
Thank you again for writing and for your commitment to our nation’s natural and historic treasures. As President, I am committed to keeping these lands and monuments great for our children and grandchildren.
Donald Trump


That’s the kicker, innit?

And how nice it was of him to donate a portion of his salary to this worthy cause after cutting a bazillion times that amount from it