Apey with the assist
.
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I fell on my arm and had to have
an operation on my funny bone. I was in stitches for two weeks.
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What’s the worst thing about getting a lung transplant?
The first couple of times you cough, it’s not your phlegm.
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Did you hear about the man who collapsed at the top of the ferris wheel?
Doctors say he’s slowly coming around.
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Ask your Medication, if this Doctor is smart enough for you.
Paging DR Noah Lott!
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Last week I got eczema, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids.
It was the first time I ever won a game of Scrabble.
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During my check-up I asked my doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy live?”
He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
I said, "I don’t believe in any of that astrology bullshit, doc.”
“Neither do I,” he replied. "My thermometer just broke.”
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An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000.
Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: 'Aaagh! – This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!
You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t – that is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see anything!”
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, “Here’s your $1000 back” (giving him a $10 bill).
Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of story – Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”
Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.
ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!
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That would be a riot.
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You know when you get the urge to eat something just because it’s there?
Anyway, I lost my job as a gynecologist today.
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