I had to go to a get together at my wife's niece

106 wasted fucking miles

they are all 40 years younger

Only Starling will understand this

but as I observed the goings on I felt like Einstein on his first day of work at the Patent office

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The best thing about my wife being pregnant is that I never have to go anywhere.

“Let’s stay home and relax, like the doctor told you to do”

This weekend I got to skip a wedding!

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When are ya due, Deportz?

Exactly one month left, as of today.

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Will your child be an automatic muzzlem?

Take your trolling someplace else asshole. This is a happy place.

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A simple “Yes” would do, son.

Wow! Oh, boy. Your life is about to change so dramatically, you won’t recognize yourself!

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Yeah one day you’re doing whatever the heck you want and the next you’ve got a head full of shampoo eating a devilled egg in the shower wondered where your life when wrong.

It’s Turkey - she will do all the work while he is down to one of those smoking places praising endrogen

Well, shame on him if that turns out to be true.