Well, he could do as Trump does, and give somebody else’s lunch to the homeless guy.
President Trump walks into a bar
He spots Mitt Romney in a corner.
President Trump: “They told me I’d find you here, but why is a Mormon in a bar?”
Mitt: “Nobody expects it, so I can meditate in peace.”
Trump: “Well, I’m here because I urgently need your help. You see, illegals have built massive ladder factories and are easily climbing over my Great Wall by the millions. They even have a religion about ladders, for God’s sake! Mitt, I need YOU to intervene.”
Mitt: “That’s horrible, Mr. President, but it’s not something I can help you with.”
Trump: "But isn’t ‘Mormon’ a nickname for your church, the Church of Ladder Day Saints?”
Who killed Jesus and then said "Aaaar, Matey”?
Sign of the times?
OMG! I am so damn blind that I thought this was the literary laughs thread.
1 Recommendation of 3377
A guy goes into the confessional booth after years being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in:
“Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be”.
The priest replies, "That’s my side, you idiot”.
A buddhist goes to a barber. After his haircut is finished he asks about the price and the barber says for a man of faith there is no cost. The next day the barber finds a gold statue of buddha on the steps of his shop.
A priest goes to the barber to get his hair cut. After his haircut is finished he asks about the price and the barber says for a man of faith there is no cost. The next day the barber finds a well woven cloak on the steps of his shop.
A rabbi goes to the barber to get his hair cut. After his haircut is finished he asks about the price and the barber says for a man of faith there is no cost. The next day he finds a dozen rabbi on the steps of his shop.