Pizza dude gets caught rubbing his balls on pizza

#1

http://latest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/pizza_dude.jpg

Meet Austin Michael Symonds, an 18-year-old employee of a Papa Murphy’s pizzeria in Georgetown, Texas. According to the arrest warrant obtained by the Austin American-Statesman newspaper, a customer confronted the teen, asking him his age and then said, “So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza?” Symonds responded by saying, “Yes,” before apparently telling the customer, “Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid.” Because that’s how it goes down when you order pizza in Georgetown, Texas.

In a recorded phone call between the ballsy young Symonds and his manager, the teen apparently admits to having decided to rub his balls over the pizza. He did not burn his nuggets, as Papa Murphy’s specialize in uncooked pizzas you take home and bake yourself. His gesture was made because the customer made the order right before closing time, delaying Symonds’ departure from work, as he no doubt had really important stuff, you know, to do. Showing he is not the brightest tool in the pizza kitchen, Symonds allegedly did the sack rubbing in a way that the customer could readily observe. Symonds later allegedly admitted that had he not been caught, he probably would have given the testicle-infused pizza to the customer.

For the record, the sexually assaulted pie was a family-sized stuffed pizza, with Canadian bacon, pineapple and extra cheese. Arguably, the taste of the pie might have actually been improved by some ball sack sweat juice.

Symonds was charged by police with tampering with a consumer product and was released on $10,000 bail.

http://latest.com/2014/09/pizza-dude-rubs-balls-pizza-delivers/

#2

I don’t understand.

#3

If Roose had a son, one wonders if he would look like Pizza dude.

1 Like
#4

I knew someone who worked in a fast food place when he was 18. He said everyone used to drop food on the floor on purpose and spit in it, etc. I think when you are being served by min wage people, never assume they aren’t pissed and willing to take it out on you.

#5

I worked in fast food when I was young, I never saw that.

Not one time. I can’t understand how sick you have to be to take it out on “innocent” people. Doesn’t matter your age.

I didn’t like minimum wage at the time, but it wasn’t the customer’s fault.

#6

Yet they hire an special education student for the job.

The kid looks like an inbreed.

#7

A friend of mine’s brother used to be assistant manager at a Hardees when I was a teenager, he used to claim that he spit on cop’s food but who knows. I know back in school they tried to smell our fingers because they knew we had been smoking weed and he rubbed his fingers in the crack of his ass and put them under the old lesbian Dean’s nose. Also he got in trouble for pissing on a cop after they threw him in a drunk tank naked… I’d say he probably spit on the cop’s food. :stuck_out_tongue:

#8

RP says that the kid looks inbred.

What exactly are you saying about Roose?

#9

I dunno, just seems like the hypothetical sort of thing a son of a meme like Roose might do.

#10

It is a rather unconscionable thing to do. I see where you’re going with this…

#11

Also about 20 years ago in the town I grew up in at another one of the Hardees in town, two homos got caught on security cam jacking off into the biscuits and gravy. What’s fucked up is this guitar player guy we all knew that the drummer in my old band worked with used to stop there every morning for biscuits and gravy on his way to work.

#12

I think most of the people that do this are douchebags. My ex husband had a co-worker that claimed to have done similar things when he was a teen.

His co-worker, whom I did meet, was a complete douchebag as an adult. I can only imagine what a dick he was as a teen.

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#13

I worked in fast food. Never saw any shit, either. But we were all female workers. I think certain young male types can easily talk other young males into doing that kind of crap.

#14

There’s an old rumor running around in the town I grew up in, one of those I heard so many times from different people you start thinking it might be true, a cop drives into a 24 donut place and waits at the counter for several minutes then starts hearing a moaning and groaning coming from the back room, so he goes into full cop on alert mode and moves into the back room area and finds the donut dude jerking off into the vat of donut dough, so the joke was for years, do you want sperm filled?

#15

When I was like 18 I had a job at a donut shop owned by some nasty Christians. That place had roaches all over it, they’d be crawling on the racks of donuts and other disgusting pastries. One of my jobs was to fill up the flour buckets they made the dough from. There’d usually be roaches in those too, I used to hurry up and bury as many roaches as I could in the flour hoping someone would complain and shut them down.

#16

Just for the records, mangs…today I zipped my junk up in my zipper after taking a leak. First time I’ve done that in a few decades, and let me tell you that age doesn’t do anything to improve the experience.

2 Likes
#17

Minimum wage has nothing to do with it, they were hostile people long before they even got their first job.

#18

Never, I mean never, order scrambled eggs when you eat out. :slight_smile:

#19

Last time was around 1954 I think

#20

I opened up a bottle of GOYA stuffed olives recently, It had a roach mixed in with the olives, fortunately it was on the top.