Todays Funny

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I went to the barber earlier and said I wanted my hair cut like Tom Cruise.

So he put a cushion on the chair.

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Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences’

I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’

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Time to make a run for the border

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The governor intervened so this mom could keep her hilarious license plate

Gotdamn, Dame Helen is still eminently hittable.

But I came here to post this…

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from amazon.
I’ll let you know.

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okay, but… mimosas? Those are for brunch. Not partying

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