Very punny indeed


I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.

I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.









iz not



Where does a cow fart come from?

The dairy air


Why aren’t pregnant women hungry?

Because they gestate!


(OK, so yes technically not a pun, yet I feel in my heart this quote I stole belongs here, punnily speaking.)


A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway

Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours


I was watching an Australian cooking show and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked, Australians usually boo meringue.


What do you call Vietnamese noodle soup that’s mistakenly served in a 16 oz. container?

A pho cup.




What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?



My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well.


I accidentally bought too many art supplies

I’m having an excess stencil crisis.


(not my work, a FB convo between a couple of my music pals…)

Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end, the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The hoover was very unsympathetic… told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to … yes, you guessed it … pull myself together.

The roof had everything covered but the floor was a walk over…

The conversation with the microwave got quite heated and the conversation with the toaster turned dark quickly. For the coffee maker it probably felt like the same old daily grind.


And what shit was in the crock pot’s opinion?