Todays Funny

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Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says," Crikey! There’s a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says, “What’s his name?”
Mick replies, "Miles, from London.”

Yesterday I ate three lipsticks and some mascara and haven’t pooped since.

You really can’t shit this make-up.

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I fell for clickbait once.

You won’t believe what happened next…

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Best thing about this candle is the name of the company that makes it

“Flaming Crap”

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Portland: Where the cocaine is legal but the straw isn’t.

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