That’s it.
A couple years ago I almost died in a bad motorbike crash. When I was laying there looking up at that beautiful Auzzie blue sky I was ready to die. My last thought before I left my body was excitedly waiting to see if there was a god. I saw nothing, and I was happy, and that was the most profoundly sad moment of an entire life full of sadness.
I am not complaining though, there is a degree of creativity that comes from pain.
In that peaceful blue Australian sky while I laid sure I was going to die, I scoffed and said I saw no gods. But when my body was destroyed, and my mind was broken by pain, all I could see was beauty, peace, and the grace you could only hope for in your final seconds. Truly it was hubris that didn’t see god, as I was bowed and comforted by him. He stood by me and offered me a chance to die in the peace I had always wanted.
He showed me an exit, but did not force me though. And now all I remember was that I did not go, and instead crawled through what could only be described as hell. When I awoke, taking my pained breathes, I saw my family.
Even in denying his gift, he stood by me waiting for a time I might finally join him.
Can I still declare so boldly there is no gods?
I am still an atheist, but I can hope, and if nothing else I can try for a highscore.